De-emphasizing Choice

As I let go of fear I naturally experience greater freedom of movement. The way I view life is changing. I don’t place as much emphasis on my responsibility to make right choices – and I feel more relaxed. The focus I’ve placed on the need to choose well has kept me fearful of myself. If the quality of my life rests solely on the choices I make then why wouldn’t I be afraid? My choices often seemed to produce difficult circumstances; what else could I do but blame myself and my foolish choices. I developed a fear of choosing wrong which, of course, only immobilized my ability to chose at all.When this dramatic transformation occurred in our marriage, people began asking Michael and I what we did to turn the tide. Did we start applying messages we’d heard on marriage? Did we make a concerted effort to be kinder, love without condition, to honor and respect each other? What brought about such a radical change of heart? In considering the questions, the answer remained the same…nothing…we did nothing…the change of heart came as pure gift. With the change of heart, the change of actions occurred spontaneously.

There came a pivotal point where I was seriously trying to evaluate what we did. I heard these words, “Susan, you have two choices. You can dig around and try to find what you did to produce such stellar results…or you can accept that you did nothing, and humbly receive the gift that I have given. Consider both options and decide which one brings greater peace and joy…and then rest your faith in that vein of living.”

I decided to view life as a gift I receive rather than something I create by the choices I make. I am encapsulated in trust – and free from the fear of Susan that was destroying my life. God gets more glory now since I no longer give separate credit to the quality of the choices that I make. The result? Movement…the freedom to do, experiment, explore, speak, and to be who I currently know myself to be. That alone gives this new perspective cause for celebration!