Expansive Boundaries
The more I recognize myself in union with Christ the more comfortable I am with myself. I tap His expression in me and it incites me to be who I am. When identity is at rest then personal boundaries emerge to safeguard false identifications with other people, causes, or roles. Definition comes to the foreground as the branch draws life from the Vine.
People perish for lack of vision. Vision is more than a goal to lose weight, run a marathon, write a book, or to organize clutter. Vision is about seeing who I am. As His image in me takes shape I find a worthy reason to be myself. Apart from that vision, there is nothing worth fighting for. With the vision comes the desire to carve out the space for incubating clearer vision. It is the vision that calls for the boundaries.
A boundary does not limit size or space; it actually creates the space for privacy in Christ. Privacy with Him expands my capacity for others. He transforms self-focus into generosity. Setting the boundary is a generous step. It clears the path so the transformation can be authentic (uncontrived, unfeigned). He makes Himself clear in me so that what He has to say can set my standards. He is not divided. When it comes to His will for my life He makes it known to me first and foremost. This establishes my confidence in His voice above all others.
In general, a lack of personal boundaries clouds personal clarity. To find, apply, and respect my own boundaries is healthy love and self-respect which precedes healthy love and respect for others. A boundary keeps me from crossing the line when condemnation and judgment join allegiance. It keeps me “on my side” by creating the space for continual recognition of Christ in me, as me.
In 2004 the Lord spoke to me of boundaries and said, “Susan, where there are no boundaries there will eventually be barriers. Boundaries support relationships, barriers do not. Barriers are walls that separate; boundaries are simply lines that denote restriction; barriers divide, boundaries protect; barriers offend, boundaries command respect.”
Years later, I have an even greater appreciation! Experience is a great teacher. I love the learning process and the natural form that faith takes as lessons are inherently implemented in my daily walk. Life holds joy when I move in accordance with His word and will in me, showing honor to myself and others thereby. I am who I really am as I rest easy in who He is in me. I live trusting the “us” that He is forming. His unique perspective in and through me is what makes me who I am.
I ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for Christians, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him — endless energy, boundless strength! Ephesians 1:17-19 The Message
Receiving
Where there is unbelief, there is no rest. Unbelief keeps me working in the hope that one day “I” will accomplish enough to feel worthy of rest. But rest is not the result of work, it is the result of faith.
Rest occurs when I trust that all the work is already done even though I wasn’t the one to do it. Natural behavior reflects my inner posture. Can I rest in the quality of the work done by someone else? How often do I feel the need to follow up behind them to make sure the job was done and done correctly? True rest comes to me when I do not think of myself more highly than I ought!
I am not the only one who can do a job right. That kind of arrogance will keep me from experiencing the rest that comes to me in the form of another person. Rest occurs when I can let someone else do the work for me. Peace occurs when I don’t heed the false need to improve upon the work they did.
It is important to receive a gift for what and how it is. A gift is not necessarily what I thought I needed, wanted or even asked for. A gift is given at the whim of the giver. To receive the nakedness of the gift that was given means I won’t try to exchange if for something else. Only when a gift is fully received can it be fully revealed and thus appreciated.
God gives the gift of people. Appreciation opens the gift, and its meaning and purpose is then cultivated over time. People are fragile (yet flexible) gifts and God intends careful handling. His are good and perfect gifts to be engaged lovingly and respectfully at all times. As I look with wonderment at the differences between gifts I gain appreciation for His discernment of which gifts most compliment my being.
His gifts aren’t always an obvious pairing. The seeming mismatch may be difficult to appreciate but the unique perspectives are not without reason. There is much to glean from each others point of reference before trying to rush toward the agreement that may come later. I am encouraged to enjoy the differences instead of trying to coerce conformity.
There is no real work left to be done. The only thing left is the rest. There is a strong contrast between rest and work, love and law, desire and obligation. Obligation feels hard, like work. Desire feels easy, like rest. That’s how I am meant to live – being myself and living in agreement with who I am. From the place of true desire I accomplish many things. I may look busy but I live rested.
Rest is the satisfaction that comes at the end of a day well spent (not well earned). To spend a good day is to draw generously from the bounty of eternal days within me. I spend them freely because of my sense of abundance and belonging. Trying to earn a sense of satisfaction holds the limitations of a false sense of self and separation – self-made good days come few and far between.
A day filled with rest and peace is drawn from the awareness of inner faith, that place within me that knows that the Father has made all things well within me, that there is nothing in me that is not already fully returning to Him. This is rest, this is peace, this is the atmosphere of grace that allows me to grow unhindered by the resistance of judgment and criticism. I am finished.
Grace-filled Seasons
Some seasons can be long and painful and may cause us to question the unquestionable. When that which is supposed to be unsinkable sinks the repercussion can feel catastrophic.
Think “Titanic” where the first reaction is denial. If I will not consider that the ship could be flawed then I will disregard my own instincts and label myself defective. But what if the ship is faulty? What if the religious system has become a sinking vessel and survival requires me to jump ship?
I began to notice that a religious mindset does not foster the same gracious embrace of spiritual seasons as is commonly extended toward natural ones. Yet every part of my life (spiritual growth, marriage, ministry, finance, social outreach, etc) undergoes the changing of the seasons – winter, spring, summer, and autumn are facts of life on every level. Some years have more drought or pestilence than others – but I cannot make it rain or stop the locusts. I can however, trust God in it all.
Winter is cold and uncomfortable by nature. It’s a fact – but I don’t turn on myself or question my heart because it’s snowing outside! I allow it to be what it is – a time of physical rest and a time to rely on food that was gathered from a previous harvest. I might sit by a fire and consider past mistakes, but I will also allow the hibernation of the season to repair the damage and to prepare me for the rigors of what the upcoming springtime will demand.
Spring is an active time of implementing the quiet insight and instruction I gained in the winter. It requires spiritual and physical energy – for it is time to plow the new ground. The ground may be fallow and in need of great fertilization before I can even plant my first seed…but it’s okay because it is spring and my energy is renewed! I don’t feel daunted by the task in the way that I would if I were trying to “force myself” to do in winter what was intended for me to do in spring!
If winter is cold by nature then summer is hot! It requires frequent watering and weeding of the freshly planted crop. The crop is in danger from the heat of the day and I protect it with my focused attention. Summer requires a lot of mental vigilance but it is also when I catch the first glimpse of the fruit of my labor. The seed sprouts and gives me hope.
Autumn is harvest time! I reap the reward of the previous seasons, give thanks, eat the fruit, and store up for the winter that is surely coming again.
Allowing the seasons to be what they are is graceful. God initiated the seasons and only He knows how long each one will last. He isn’t asking me to live in perpetual spring. He’s okay with winter, and drought, and flood, and locust, and the beauty of spring and summer and the changing colors of the fall.
If I don’t allow myself the experience of my own seasons then the whole cycle of my being goes off kilter. I become susceptible to legalism and performance pressure as I try to “perform” outside of the season I am in. I may even misconstrue what I believe I hear God saying to me because of ingrained ideologies that suggest I should always be in “spring” mode.
Seasons are not criminal. He leads into the dark and lonely place as surely as He leads into the light. There is a time for every season under the sun. Let’s not make “Christian promises” that we cannot keep. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us…but He never said we would never feel lonely or abandoned. If He wields His sovereignty to wean us from the masses, it will feel incredibly lonesome. The flesh remains fearful and to some degree we remain in the flesh. We will experience its tremors…but that’s okay. Spirit triumphs and life always conquers death. We do not remain in any tomb too long. The stone rolls away and resurrection occurs…again and again and again.
My beloved spoke, and said to me:
“Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away! O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.”Song of Songs 2:10-14 (NKJV)