One Another
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 NIV
Psalm 149:9 tells us that the Lord is the honor of all His saints. Therefore, we honor Him as we honor one another. Both love and honor are born in the heart. As my heart yields to honor, the words of my mouth echo the love in my heart.
Other directives linked to the phrase “one another” include: love one another, prefer one another, receive one another, serve one another, forbear one another, teach one another, forgive one another, comfort one another, edify one another, exhort one another, consider one another, and admonish one another.
We are directed NOT to: judge one another, provoke one another, envy one another, devour one another, betray one another, or hate one another. The term “one another” levels the field to safeguard saints against self importance. We honor people, gifts, positions, commissions, callings, and appointments – and those appointed are subject to the equalizing effects of the “one another” scriptures to which we all subscribe.
1 Peter 1:22 talks about having unfeigned love for the brethren and Ephesians 4:15 asks me to speak the truth in love. The Holy Spirit connected these verses to show me that until the love in my heart is unfeigned the truth spoken is as offensive as clanging brass – doing more harm than good, more dishonor than honor. If the intent is not pure then the noticeable absence of love becomes a stumbling block. The reproof of truth will cut, not cure. One word of correction from a heart filled with love is sweeter than all the world’s flattery. Truth spoken in love prepares a heart for repentance. Kindness is the tone of honor that coaxes a greater expression of Christ from each of us.
I want to live agreeable with who I am. If Christ is my life then love is my highest form of self expression. I don’t want to bring correction to others because I think it’s what they need. I want to speak truth because “love” is who I am – with no expectation or demand for any particular reaction, response, or adjustment. I simply want to be myself – submitted and subdued by love – and wholesome enough to leave the results up to Him. I want to speak truth from an empathetic source that genuinely hurts when another hurts…not because the hurting human is offensive or inconvenient.
The Lord never leaves nor forsakes. The flesh is present with its sin, rebellion, and carelessness yet it does not cause the Lord break fellowship with me. Grace abounds and mercy triumphs. Goodness is lavished and love continues to take the initiative toward me – the object of His affection. As I practice this same generosity it becomes impossible to withhold forgiveness from another. Others need the same freedom that I need – that we might all attain full stature (Ephesians 4:13). Every person is fighting a great battle. Kindness is precious.
It is easy to show honor when I commit others into God’s care. It is easy to honor others when I realize God is in control. It is easy to show honor when I trust Christ in you. It is easy to show honor when I look past the flesh. It is easy to show honor when I believe we are equal and one in Christ.
Honor is revealed by the level of trust I extend toward you. Honor breeds safety and fosters acceptance toward one another. Honor opens the eyes to view the true “Christ heart” of others. Dishonor proceeds from the flesh and sees only flesh…missing the true view of who we are. To show dishonor is to miss Christ – the one, only, and every reason we have to honor all men. If I treat others as the representation of Christ even before they find Him or can see Him in themselves, then their discovery of Him is helped, not hindered.
Honor is armor and it disarms the enemy. Dishonor is a form of unbelief. The way I behave toward others will reveal my faith in union. Do I believe that you are as Christ to me? In looking at the flesh I refuse to see Him. In so doing I dishonor myself, you, and the finished work of the cross…all because of unbelief. Imperfect vessels are the habitation of His choosing and the place where His honor dwells! Honoring one another in the midst of frail human form is faith in action.
Conflict of Distinction
People are very different from one another. It’s less painful to believe that we accept (even appreciate) differences than it is to notice the subtle nuances of our intolerance. It’s common to draw a comparison to portray a distinctiveness in ourselves. If too critical, we may temper the comparison by insisting there’s nothing wrong with our differences, and yet the closing comment will usually rest with our gratefulness for being who we are…by comparison. Judgment hides itself well in the soft light of comparison.
Some judgments seem less poisonous than others. For instance, Mike and I were looking at the difference between how we wash the dishes. Mike likes to keep his dish water clean; he pre-rinses the dishes so they don’t dirty his water. I scrape remnants into the trash, put the dishes in the water, and ignore the little floaters that may swish by. While noticing our different styles, Mike remarked, “I’m not telling you how to wash dishes. I just do it differently. I like to wash dishes in clean water instead of dirty water.” The last line is where comparison is drawn and judgment is hidden. I exposed his little dig and we laughed as we both admitted how easily a comparison turns ugly.
A remark like that seems innocuous; but just because judgment is masked behind comparison and “acceptance talk” doesn’t make it less venomous. Truthfully, we often think our way is better. If we’re honest about how we feel another might improve their life it often translates to becoming more like us. “They have a certain weakness, I do not. If they would do what I do they wouldn’t have that weakness. They’d be better…because they’d be more like me!“ It isn’t always a conscious thought, but it is often the underlying sentiment.
While still on this subject, Mike referred to comparing ourselves with others as a “conflict of distinction.” The statement set my wheels turning! The conflict of distinction is also the rejection of uniqueness. Are we afraid to be different? Can we allow others to be different and retain their equality with us?
With uniqueness comes daring. We can liberate ourselves and others by choosing words that offer genuine applause for our differences. To do so is to respect God’s diversity. Fear tells us we won’t be liked if we’re different, we won’t fit in; we may be rejected or shunned. What if God has authored a different translation in us from those around us? Don’t worry, God is safe. We are His to orchestrate – His way, for His reasons.
The subtle insistence upon outer conformity is the enemy of true unity. We take comfort when the thinking pattern of another closely resembles our own. If we’ve deviated 20 degrees from the “norm” of Christian perspective, we accept others who’ve done the same. When we collide with those traveling 50 degrees “off the beaten path” then the difference feels extreme. Fear has the capability of keeping us close-minded and unwilling to see the gospel from a point of view that is unfamiliar – even when it has scriptural verity. We feel more comfortable with those who are most like ourselves – and it is this unnamed insistence on outer conformity that would hinder the grace-filled work of true unity and encapsulate our view of God.
I used to wonder why God tore down the Tower of Babel. Their “unity” was enabling them to build a tower to reach the heavens. Unity is good, right? Yet He confounded the languages – making communication difficult and unification next to impossible. Perhaps it was a safeguard against the flesh and its attempt to emulate the spirit.
True unity is born of the Spirit and the flesh can’t touch it. Outer conformity is “counterfeit unity” manufactured by the flesh. Judgment is the tool most used to coerce conformity. Comparison is fleshly and divisive – born of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. True appreciation of differences is spiritual and unifying – born of the Tree of Life – where all is only good.
There can be no safe comparison without clear qualifiers. I may say, “I am one way and you are another.” To qualify the statement is to ensure the understanding that I perceive the differences as being God-ordained, God-designed, God-intended, God-valued, and God-be-glorified! We only appreciate who we are when we are not depreciating anyone else. Drawing a comparison is tricky business. We must use caution, tread softly, and honor Christ by trusting that He IS the difference we see in one another!
Rest
With a hunger to find God, I found the whole of who I am. He is the principle I long to recognize, the character I long to possess, and the freedom I need to just be me. He establishes my foundation and builds the walls that fortify my city. He is my soundness of mind, my balance, my ability to partner, to parent, to originate, to cultivate, to create, to establish, and to secure. The anguish of certain actions in life have merely been consequences leading to new patterns of living. Over time I have learned that life is learned over time. Life is filled with vital lessons in acceptance and joy. He’s leading me to the high places of surrender so I can experience the depths of spiritual freedom. There is nothing for me to fear, least of all my self. I humbly concede the words He has spoken. Established in His bosom, I know myself in Him. I trust Him with my life; His word concerning me is in motion and will not return to Him void.