Evidence of Grace
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.” Romans 12:6
I’ve stopped looking at what another can do to measure what I think I should be able to do. What you do may be difficult for me and what’s easy for me may not be for you. Let’s not make our giftings an opportunity to judge or compare. Gifts are in accordance with the grace that’s been given. I have the grace that matches my gifts. It’s like getting a toy car for Christmas with the batteries included. I am given the gift and the energy that goes along with it. I recognize gifts by their accompanying grace.
“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy; but it does mean that even when it’s tough I’ll have the grace to face the hard work. My desire to conquer the difficulty is in proportion to the grace that’s been given.
“I have written you quite boldly on some points because of the grace God gave me.” Romans 15:15
Paul spoke boldly because of the grace he was given. Others have a merciful gift and speak with greater empathy because of the grace given to them. The point is to be who I am, to accept myself, and to give all that I have. I can’t give what I don’t have or try to be who I am not. People need me for who I am. I love who He’s made me to be. I am equally as valuable as those whose gifts differ from my own.
“Those reputed to be pillars gave me the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that I should go to the Gentiles, and they to the Jews. All they asked was that I should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.” Galatians 2:9-10
Grace distinguishes me from others. When a particular grace is evidenced then room is made for that gift. The right hand of fellowship is offered because it’s hard to argue with grace! Grace evidences God’s choice. When I have the grace to do something it is like a spotlight shining on me. Those who see will allow me to do what I’m gifted to do. The gift makes room for itself and each person’s gift becomes relevant and equal.
And, in the light of the grace that’s been given, I remember the poor. I offer my gift, my substance, and my being with no need for reward or response. I give because I want what’s been invested in me to yield an increase in myself and others. I will do what I’ve been graced to do and to leave the rest for someone else. I may never know why or fully understand how another life is impacted when I am just “me”…but God does, and that’s what matters.
Different, Yet the Same
I have a melancholy temperament and often feel the need to be understood. I like knowing I’m on the same page with others and tend to work hard to articulate or extrapolate meaning. I cherish this part of me when it’s nested in God; but for the struggling mind in me it can be a false cry for conformity. How often have I looked for validation through uniformity with others?
When I need to “be like you” to feel credible then even a different outlook will make me auto-adjust or over-correct my position to make sure I’m rightly understood. It’s as though any difference between us must be relegated to simple misunderstandings. I’m convinced if you just understand me, you’ll agree with me; and if you agree, then my silent cry for conformity is met.
I reject my uniqueness when I suspect others of being better than me. Comparison is the number one enemy of self-acceptance. My fear of being different (and more subtle craving for others to “see it the way I see it”) is rooted in a misunderstanding of union.
I erroneously expect Christ in me to be the exact reflection of Christ in you. When He isn’t, I presume one of us is defective (usually me, but occasionally you). Kicking into conformity mode, I back paddle my position. If I think you’re amiss, I’ll try to shift your position by re-explaining mine. If needed, I’ll pull out bigger guns and cite my inner knowing or what the Lord’s showing me…anything to persuade you that God in me is more accurate than God in you. Please understand, these actions are not conscious, they’re autonomic in nature; it is “false self” preservation at its finest.
Yet another paradox; Christ is the same, but different. His Spirit unifies us, His “sameness” recognizable in each. And yet, this same Christ is expressed differently in everyone and procures different answers and solutions to life’s complexities. His heart is more passionate in one than in another on any given subject. He may ache for political reform and will move one into action; in another He may ache for personal reform and move them to action of another kind. In both, love is the motive, execution, and conclusion.
A difference in passions is not a lack of involvement in the human condition. We’re different parts of the same body…but remain of one heart, mind, and spirit. To applaud our differences is to affirm our uniqueness. Singularity of purpose mixed with multitudinous expression and execution is the key to love gracefully conquering all.
Doing and Being
There was no other choice for me…leaving the familiar was like God pushing me out of the nest. New turf is rewarding and exhilarating – but also a lot like a junkie with intense withdrawals. There are days I am screaming on the inside… demanding some form of definition as to who I am and what I’m supposed to be DOING in life. “Doing” is like a drug that masks the pain of waking up to being myself. The skin crawls and the flesh cries out like the drug addict who would sell their very soul for another fix. I know…I’m melodramatic, but it’s a fairly accurate description for the process.
In moments of weakness I want to return to the familiar by looking for a new role to play, duty to perform, or job to fill. I am inwardly urged to resist the temptation. It’s not that I will never “do” anything again…I will. What I do will strengthen what this season of “non-doing” is all about – allowing myself to be who I was created to be with no apology, false humility, fear, or reservation.
I was wrestled from the nest to find my voice, rhythm, style, and expression…then, to live it by serving others from my true being. I will do much, but what I do will reflect who I am at the core. My service will flow from the revelation of who I know myself to be.
Of course there’s a paradox! Although I spent years doing things that didn’t satisfy they weren’t the “wrong” things. They were the “right” things for showing me who I wasn’t (I have to see who I’m not in order to see who I am). Doing refines being and being refines doing. So I “do” for as long as it takes for me to realize that this is NOT who I am. I may even “keep doing” long after I know that what I’m doing is no longer a fit but eventually I will break under the pressure of trying to do that which does not nourish the call of my being. It is THEN that I will enter a place like the one I’m in right now – a place where I am not allowed to do anything until I can recognize and call myself by the name that God has chosen for me…I am Susan, He calls me a writer…