Breaking Ties
It can take a while to recognize the adversary because he comes disguised as my very own thoughts. Grim thoughts take me down a dark road into a forest of negative feelings and emotions. I don’t have to follow where they want to lead. Rebel thoughts and emotions are subdued by the life of Christ as I discern His impulses within me. He prompts the quick release of a negative thought and through union awareness I yield the natural corresponding impetus to let it go. I cast down imaginations, recognizing them for the poison they are.
Erroneous, lie infested thoughts will lead me to the emotions they want me to feel. If I entertain the thoughts and find myself caught up in ugly feelings then I will soon find myself behaving falsely. Feelings empower behavior. With the practice of bringing thoughts into captivity they are soon denied the freedom they once had in me. I break the intimacy I formerly had with old thought patterns. Going silent means detaching from the company of erstwhile thoughts. As imaginations are cast down, thoughts come into the obedience (under the authority) of Christ.
The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (KJV)
The arms with which we are fighting are not those of the flesh, but they are strong before God for the destruction of high places; putting an end to reasonings, and every high thing which is lifted up against the knowledge of God, and causing every thought to come under the authority of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (BBE)
Going Silent
Going silent is now my favorite practice. The thought realm seems to emphasize quantity over quality and so my spiritual practice is to downsize. Mind chatter cheapens my soul and thwarts my quiet fellowship with the mind of Christ.
It is a spiritual risk but I’m challenging my own perceptions, opinions, interpretations, and even discernments (accurate or inaccurate, it doesn’t matter). I am again resisting the urge to be understood by others (including myself). If I feel misrepresented, misjudged, or like I’m on the receiving end of a sniper attack my practice is to go silent and to calmly escape the bullet.
I really have no need to defend, protect, or preserve my character with anyone anymore. Other people’s opinion of me is none of my business. I desire peace and silencing my own mind is my objective. I will not voice complaints against objectionable behaviors or seeming betrayals…not even in my own head. What I will do is “work out” my own salvation with a trembling tenderness of conscience before the Lord.
It helps to keep in mind that my view is partial at best. What I see is part of the picture. Once I realize the view is limited I diffuse the urge to let the snapshot become a panoramic view. There are other pieces to the puzzle, other chapters yet to be written, and events yet to unfold. A reactionary life is exhausting. It is far more enjoyable to let the moment pass and to find the correct response a little farther down the road.
Knowing the way the mind works motivates me to keep letting go. Abandoning my self to the peace and joy of inner silence is making my life worth the living. I have no need to preserve a self-image. I really am free to be no one. In fact, nothing is more enticing to me. Silencing the need to be validated or affirmed by others also silences the need for the continuation of that validation. False needs are a bottomless pit.
So for today, my friends, forgive me if the voicing of any complaints has caused you unrest. At best, it weakened your respect for me. At worst, it weakened your respect for others. Let it all go, life is too short. Complaining is self interest that disturbs the peace of knowing and enjoying God as the all in all. After all, nothing gets to me that does not first pass through God.
It’s Up to Him
I am here in New Mexico and that is enough. The rest remains in the hands of the One who generates real emotion and passion. I expect more from Him than what I know cannot come from me. I won’t limit my expectations in an effort to avoid disappointment. I shift my focus and cast off restraint when it comes to looking to God to do abundantly above and beyond all I could ask or think. It’s not up to me to make this “move” meaningful.
We moved on a desire and trust it to make room for a new revelation of Christ. Desire carves out space for Him to rush into. The act of desiring is the act of preparing and emptying out a new spot for Him to fill. Through desire I see my greater need. Desire seems to arise out of a need with the sole purpose of being able to receive Him as the true supply. A new desire becomes the next new place in me that He intends to flood.
A desire seems to call Him into my awareness. To recognize a desire and to see its fulfillment is to see a new manifestation of my union with Christ. Every true desire of my heart is Christ longing to be Himself in me. To sit with the desire (allowing it to blossom) is to make room for His expression in me, as me.
To take hold of the new means I must let go of the familiar. For every perceived loss there is an equal or greater gain. Fruit is born out of death; God makes a statement by taking loss and turning it to gain. He reveals Himself in the earth of my life through a seedling of desire and His image is reflected in the fruit that is born. He is my surrender…all the way to the point of true reflection. He supplies the energy and drive. I remain still in the midst of His motion.
Humility is taking Christ as identity and receiving all of heaven thereby. Desire is born of God; I know I cannot transform myself. At best, I can rearrange life and pretend its real change when it is not. I can alter external environment but only Christ can alter spiritual scenery. He opens my eyes to see the green and the lush as it springs forth.
Flowers are growing and lining the pathways of my life. I am like a cracked pot who drips water; I feel flawed – but I will see that every drop of water is creating a bright spot in the earth around me. Bearing fruit is not my strain or struggle. It is a natural occurrence for one who abides in the Vine. I see the fruit that is already born. The already ripened fruit is being shaken off and the “greater harvest” is up to Him…