Grace-filled Seasons
Some seasons can be long and painful and may cause us to question the unquestionable. When that which is supposed to be unsinkable sinks the repercussion can feel catastrophic.
Think “Titanic” where the first reaction is denial. If I will not consider that the ship could be flawed then I will disregard my own instincts and label myself defective. But what if the ship is faulty? What if the religious system has become a sinking vessel and survival requires me to jump ship?
I began to notice that a religious mindset does not foster the same gracious embrace of spiritual seasons as is commonly extended toward natural ones. Yet every part of my life (spiritual growth, marriage, ministry, finance, social outreach, etc) undergoes the changing of the seasons – winter, spring, summer, and autumn are facts of life on every level. Some years have more drought or pestilence than others – but I cannot make it rain or stop the locusts. I can however, trust God in it all.
Winter is cold and uncomfortable by nature. It’s a fact – but I don’t turn on myself or question my heart because it’s snowing outside! I allow it to be what it is – a time of physical rest and a time to rely on food that was gathered from a previous harvest. I might sit by a fire and consider past mistakes, but I will also allow the hibernation of the season to repair the damage and to prepare me for the rigors of what the upcoming springtime will demand.
Spring is an active time of implementing the quiet insight and instruction I gained in the winter. It requires spiritual and physical energy – for it is time to plow the new ground. The ground may be fallow and in need of great fertilization before I can even plant my first seed…but it’s okay because it is spring and my energy is renewed! I don’t feel daunted by the task in the way that I would if I were trying to “force myself” to do in winter what was intended for me to do in spring!
If winter is cold by nature then summer is hot! It requires frequent watering and weeding of the freshly planted crop. The crop is in danger from the heat of the day and I protect it with my focused attention. Summer requires a lot of mental vigilance but it is also when I catch the first glimpse of the fruit of my labor. The seed sprouts and gives me hope.
Autumn is harvest time! I reap the reward of the previous seasons, give thanks, eat the fruit, and store up for the winter that is surely coming again.
Allowing the seasons to be what they are is graceful. God initiated the seasons and only He knows how long each one will last. He isn’t asking me to live in perpetual spring. He’s okay with winter, and drought, and flood, and locust, and the beauty of spring and summer and the changing colors of the fall.
If I don’t allow myself the experience of my own seasons then the whole cycle of my being goes off kilter. I become susceptible to legalism and performance pressure as I try to “perform” outside of the season I am in. I may even misconstrue what I believe I hear God saying to me because of ingrained ideologies that suggest I should always be in “spring” mode.
Seasons are not criminal. He leads into the dark and lonely place as surely as He leads into the light. There is a time for every season under the sun. Let’s not make “Christian promises” that we cannot keep. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us…but He never said we would never feel lonely or abandoned. If He wields His sovereignty to wean us from the masses, it will feel incredibly lonesome. The flesh remains fearful and to some degree we remain in the flesh. We will experience its tremors…but that’s okay. Spirit triumphs and life always conquers death. We do not remain in any tomb too long. The stone rolls away and resurrection occurs…again and again and again.
My beloved spoke, and said to me:
“Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away! O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.”Song of Songs 2:10-14 (NKJV)
One Another
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 NIV
Psalm 149:9 tells us that the Lord is the honor of all His saints. Therefore, we honor Him as we honor one another. Both love and honor are born in the heart. As my heart yields to honor, the words of my mouth echo the love in my heart.
Other directives linked to the phrase “one another” include: love one another, prefer one another, receive one another, serve one another, forbear one another, teach one another, forgive one another, comfort one another, edify one another, exhort one another, consider one another, and admonish one another.
We are directed NOT to: judge one another, provoke one another, envy one another, devour one another, betray one another, or hate one another. The term “one another” levels the field to safeguard saints against self importance. We honor people, gifts, positions, commissions, callings, and appointments – and those appointed are subject to the equalizing effects of the “one another” scriptures to which we all subscribe.
1 Peter 1:22 talks about having unfeigned love for the brethren and Ephesians 4:15 asks me to speak the truth in love. The Holy Spirit connected these verses to show me that until the love in my heart is unfeigned the truth spoken is as offensive as clanging brass – doing more harm than good, more dishonor than honor. If the intent is not pure then the noticeable absence of love becomes a stumbling block. The reproof of truth will cut, not cure. One word of correction from a heart filled with love is sweeter than all the world’s flattery. Truth spoken in love prepares a heart for repentance. Kindness is the tone of honor that coaxes a greater expression of Christ from each of us.
I want to live agreeable with who I am. If Christ is my life then love is my highest form of self expression. I don’t want to bring correction to others because I think it’s what they need. I want to speak truth because “love” is who I am – with no expectation or demand for any particular reaction, response, or adjustment. I simply want to be myself – submitted and subdued by love – and wholesome enough to leave the results up to Him. I want to speak truth from an empathetic source that genuinely hurts when another hurts…not because the hurting human is offensive or inconvenient.
The Lord never leaves nor forsakes. The flesh is present with its sin, rebellion, and carelessness yet it does not cause the Lord break fellowship with me. Grace abounds and mercy triumphs. Goodness is lavished and love continues to take the initiative toward me – the object of His affection. As I practice this same generosity it becomes impossible to withhold forgiveness from another. Others need the same freedom that I need – that we might all attain full stature (Ephesians 4:13). Every person is fighting a great battle. Kindness is precious.
It is easy to show honor when I commit others into God’s care. It is easy to honor others when I realize God is in control. It is easy to show honor when I trust Christ in you. It is easy to show honor when I look past the flesh. It is easy to show honor when I believe we are equal and one in Christ.
Honor is revealed by the level of trust I extend toward you. Honor breeds safety and fosters acceptance toward one another. Honor opens the eyes to view the true “Christ heart” of others. Dishonor proceeds from the flesh and sees only flesh…missing the true view of who we are. To show dishonor is to miss Christ – the one, only, and every reason we have to honor all men. If I treat others as the representation of Christ even before they find Him or can see Him in themselves, then their discovery of Him is helped, not hindered.
Honor is armor and it disarms the enemy. Dishonor is a form of unbelief. The way I behave toward others will reveal my faith in union. Do I believe that you are as Christ to me? In looking at the flesh I refuse to see Him. In so doing I dishonor myself, you, and the finished work of the cross…all because of unbelief. Imperfect vessels are the habitation of His choosing and the place where His honor dwells! Honoring one another in the midst of frail human form is faith in action.
Lay it Down
When beliefs are tested the ground seems unstable. I trust this place with the Lord whether or not I comprehend the landscape. He has removed any liaison between us and is positioning me in His direct line of fire.
I am free to name the prescribed beliefs that I have trouble swallowing. As I describe my symptoms to the Lord I am trusting His diagnosis. Contradictions, disagreements, and interpretive differences are not symptomatic of a fatal flaw or a spiritual disease.
He is forming a revelation that is mine to contain and communicate as Christ in me. Subject matter and delivery style may differ but its validity bears His seal. It is important that I learn to trust Him as He is in me regardless of how or if He is received in me. The perspective He is solidifying belongs to Him. It was here before I was born and will be here after I’m gone.
The message He is ascribing is for me first before it is for others. In Luke 22:32 Jesus told Peter, “When you are converted, then strengthen your brethren.” This has been a lonely season, but my loneliness belongs to Him first, before any other. He maintains His right to comfort me. I am being with Him as He desires at this time so that ultimately it may benefit others.
I press the dark for all that He has for me and resist the craving for external agreements. I am offering Him everything I think about Him, the scope of His redemptive work, and relationship with Him. It is an offering that only He can guard and keep. His intent for me to live from His personal word to me is intense (1 Kings 13).
I’ve thought of Paul and how difficult it would be to do what he did. Paul said he did not receive the gospel that he preached from man nor was he taught it by a man. He received it by revelation of Jesus Christ (Galatians 1:11,12). Upon his conversion he did not confer with flesh and blood. He was privately tutored by the Lord for three years before meeting with Peter for fifteen days (Galatians 1:16-24). After that, he preached his revelation of grace for another fourteen years before coming back to Jerusalem at which time he brought correction to certain apostles who were sliding back under the Law. When they perceived the grace that he was given, they gave him the right hand of fellowship (Galatians 2). Now that’s trusting the Lord with your education!
It feels like a battle to trust the Lord with my education. Beliefs are easily dispensed in neat little boxes. Doctrine can feel like a judge that makes me afraid to think outside the box. I fear being labeled an unteachable, unaccountable, out of order, off the mark, erroneous, and out of fellowship rogue! Phew! That’s a mouthful!
In spite of the fear, I cannot deny that Jesus Christ is personally rekindling my love and hunger for the Word. As I study, my eyes find scriptures that confirm that my doubts and questions are reasonable even if they’ve gone unanswered. Answers will not come through the reasoning involved in drawing conclusions or making logical judgments on the basis of other people’s conclusions rather than on the basis of direct observation. The Lord is exercising His right to reveal Himself directly as He chooses. There is an unfathomable kingdom being uncovered that has so very little to do with doctrine.
(I am not opposing doctrine or saying its not relevant. I am merely speaking for myself when I say that doctrine has strangled my childlike imagination and sense of adventure. One side says this, the other says that – and they both back it up with plausible scripture. Take into account that each verse must be kept in context, as well the need to understand the culture in which it was written, the audience for whom it was intended, the prevalent heresies of the day that were being addressed…and phew!…it’s no wonder I dutifully swallow spoon fed beliefs)!
The pure love of scripture and its revealing of Christ can easily become an exegesis. I’m tired. I just want to know Him, receive His life as my own, and to walk as He walks. I want to express who He is in me without the need to explain a doctrinal position. I feel like I have no position; I’m not one to wade through the positional changes that have occurred throughout the centuries and yet I can no longer be told what to believe or how to interpret. Betwixt, I lay it down in favor of simplicity and union with Christ that translates effectively in everyday living.
God will get me where He wants me to be and open my eyes to what He wants me to see. I want to enjoy the journey and I can’t do that while qualifying my beliefs or struggling to understand one doctrinal position over another. It’s blocking my view of Him. I’d rather trust Him all around and inside and out. If another disagrees with what comes out of my mouth (or pen) then I beg they pray for my understanding while praying for their own.
The Lord offered me a solution once while I was trying to explain to others how my marriage to Mike was restored. What did we do to turn the tide? Did we start applying messages we’d heard on marriage? Did we make a concerted effort to be kinder, love without condition, to honor and respect each other? What brought about such radical heart changes?
In considering their questions, the answer remained the same…nothing. We did nothing; the change of heart came as pure gift. At a pivotal point I heard these words,
“Susan, you have two choices. You can dig around and try to find what you did to produce such stellar results, or you can accept that you did nothing, and humbly receive the gift I have given. Consider both options, decide which one magnifies Me and brings greater peace, and then rest your faith in that vein of living.”
In that moment I understood that life is a gift I receive rather than something I produce by the choices I make. Encapsulated in trust, I saw my way to living free from the fear of Susan. The result was movement – the freedom to explore, speak, move, and to just be who He is in me. That alone gave the new perspective cause for celebration!
I am revisiting the Lord’s offer now with regard to my vain attempts to fit my understanding of scripture into the right doctrinal pocket. I’m returning to simplicity by trusting Christ in me…living His life as me.
[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [ which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] that if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body]. Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own. I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward. So let those [of us] who are spiritually mature and full-grown have this mind and hold these convictions; and if in any respect you have a different attitude of mind, God will make that clear to you also. Only let us hold true to what we have already attained and walk and order our lives by that.
Philippians 3:10-16 (AMP)
As I view these words in the light of union they take on new meaning. I am at rest knowing that He who began a good work in me is faithfully completing it!