Refining Choice
Conflicting forces refine choice. The contrast of bitter makes sweet all the sweeter. The seeming polar opposites of selfishness and selflessness exist to serve one another. Selfishness broadens the gap between the contradictions in life, selflessness will close that gap. Selfishness emphasizes differences, selflessness reveals the common ground. Selfishness magnifies problems, selflessness unveils solutions. Selfishness exposes faults, selflessness covers a multitude of sins. Here’s the paradox though: without selfishness, I will not arrive at selflessness.
An Old Pattern
Have you ever tried to “read people” to find the meaning behind their actions? I noticed this old pattern in myself and realized I’d been prone to it for a long time! Children try on new friendships like shoes, looking for the ones that fit. I lost childhood friendships to what seemed like upgrades. Kids (not usually in touch with their motives) don’t often say why they’re “moving on,” they just treat the old friend differently. As this happened to me, I could feel the shift in their affection and when I misinterpreted the cue to “bug off,” their indifference turned to cruelty. I had to figure out the “end” of the friendship by examining subtleties and inferences.
The pattern carried into adulthood and I wasted a lot of energy looking for signs of the impending end of relationships. The tendency to “read people” entwined me and experience strengthened the cords. I took the approach of “taking the hint” that I was no longer wanted. If I didn’t feel preferred, I felt replaced…and believed it was up to me to figure it out by reading the signs.
Truth be told, I expected the same behavior from God. I expected to be led indirectly – He’d drop a few hints, and expect me to figure it out from there. If I missed the mark, I’d have to live with the consequence of my misstep. Translation: little movement for fear of choosing wrong. My view was skewed. Of course, God is not cryptic; He says what He means. Parables are pictures, not puzzles.
Shifting my focus onto God’s ability to lead, rather than my perceived need to interpret was my way of escape. Along the way, I learned that direct communication is important to me. I am frustrated and disheartened when indirect approaches are taken. I can handle the truth. Please don’t lie to me or coddle me. The truth doesn’t hurt nearly as much as what my mind does when left to its own analysis. My mind can splinter an interpretation in a million different directions, exhausting me in the process. Don’t be rude, unkind, or insensitive – speak the truth in love – but please, speak the truth…
Let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ… Ephesians 4:15 AMP
Contrast is a Teacher
I’ve questioned the wisdom of allowing tares to grow along side of the wheat. What good is it to live with such internal conflict? I’m beginning to see…the mind of the flesh remains because contrast is a great teacher. The flesh depicts a graphic image of impotence. The contrast between flesh and spirit creates the tension necessary for renewing the mind. The mind is being convinced that she is a servant, not a master. The soul wants what the new heart holds and still argues an ability to produce it independently.
Flesh is the instrument used to reprove her fallacy time and again. Retracing old memory patterns is a part of the process too; it’s a convenient agent of salvation. The mind retraces, but the spirit renews. The difference in function reinforces the soul’s need. In essence, flesh and spirit co-exist to save the soul. The flesh serves God by presenting opposition and resistance for the soul. He uses it to illustrate her inability to produce insight (or anything else) apart from Christ. Deception is lifted and union life becomes the liberating truth.
The cycle of failure is the renewing of the mind. It convinces the soul that she expresses thought, but does not originate it. Fear has always suggested that the flesh is our enemy, and so we resist it. In the end, truth prevails; what Satan means for evil God intends for good. The weakness of the flesh dispels a lie by shattering the soul’s illusion of independence. “Good” is the true view.