Expansive Boundaries
The more I recognize myself in union with Christ the more comfortable I am with myself. I tap His expression in me and it incites me to be who I am. When identity is at rest then personal boundaries emerge to safeguard false identifications with other people, causes, or roles. Definition comes to the foreground as the branch draws life from the Vine.
People perish for lack of vision. Vision is more than a goal to lose weight, run a marathon, write a book, or to organize clutter. Vision is about seeing who I am. As His image in me takes shape I find a worthy reason to be myself. Apart from that vision, there is nothing worth fighting for. With the vision comes the desire to carve out the space for incubating clearer vision. It is the vision that calls for the boundaries.
A boundary does not limit size or space; it actually creates the space for privacy in Christ. Privacy with Him expands my capacity for others. He transforms self-focus into generosity. Setting the boundary is a generous step. It clears the path so the transformation can be authentic (uncontrived, unfeigned). He makes Himself clear in me so that what He has to say can set my standards. He is not divided. When it comes to His will for my life He makes it known to me first and foremost. This establishes my confidence in His voice above all others.
In general, a lack of personal boundaries clouds personal clarity. To find, apply, and respect my own boundaries is healthy love and self-respect which precedes healthy love and respect for others. A boundary keeps me from crossing the line when condemnation and judgment join allegiance. It keeps me “on my side” by creating the space for continual recognition of Christ in me, as me.
In 2004 the Lord spoke to me of boundaries and said, “Susan, where there are no boundaries there will eventually be barriers. Boundaries support relationships, barriers do not. Barriers are walls that separate; boundaries are simply lines that denote restriction; barriers divide, boundaries protect; barriers offend, boundaries command respect.”
Years later, I have an even greater appreciation! Experience is a great teacher. I love the learning process and the natural form that faith takes as lessons are inherently implemented in my daily walk. Life holds joy when I move in accordance with His word and will in me, showing honor to myself and others thereby. I am who I really am as I rest easy in who He is in me. I live trusting the “us” that He is forming. His unique perspective in and through me is what makes me who I am.
I ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for Christians, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him — endless energy, boundless strength! Ephesians 1:17-19 The Message
Responsibly Trusting Him
I bear fruit, not by struggle, but by resting humbly and receptively in His love for me. His presence is my true home; His voice my true conviction. My hope is in Him and He stimulates growth. I trust His ability to meld with my true desire for holiness. I remain still in the midst of motion and I remain in motion in the midst of stillness. With union in view my being conforms my doing.
Bearing fruit takes energy…to have energy I must receive energy for I have none of my own. The ability to receive is based on identity with Christ Who is the only true being within me. My eyes are opening in response to His command. Do I have responsibility? Yes, but it is not what I thought. As I keep shrinking before His Sovereignty, He keeps amending the way I think, see, and process life. I entrust my being, choices, will, waves of emotions, thoughts, actions and re-actions into His care; and I do it over and over again. I am off my back and on my side.
The art of receiving is wrapped in humility; the kind that comes when I am free to be no one and can let go of every identity, save Christ. Only His righteousness (His level of perfection and performance) has the purity to receive the Life of God. Humility identifies with Christ (is no one of consequence apart from Him) and receives all of heaven thereby.
God has free reign with me and He will get Christ out of me through the easiest means and measures available. He softens my heart and conditions my soil. I am His; He has me where I need to be. He creates cooperation within me. My choice is not greater than His will. He is all the while at work in me aligning choices and actions in accordance with His good pleasure. I responsibly trust Him to be the life, breath, ministry, and propagation of His will and gospel in and through me toward others. I expect Him…
A Whole New Meaning
The subject of addiction sits at the core of my inner workings – which makes it a hard subject to resist. For this post, I’ll highlight addiction as anything that a false sense of “self” obsesses over; that which the false self determines to conquer or overcome. It could be anything; even the equivalent to Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Addiction manifests in many forms but I believe people’s propensity toward addiction is grounded in the illusion of a separate self – twisting uniquely in each person. There are no pat answers for overcoming addiction and the time table is God’s alone.
I see that some addictions fall off easily. I’ve overcome many bad habits; but I’ve battled others for years with elusive results. Some destructive patterns are overcome in this life and others are not. But this I know – every one of them is used by God to point to one true thing… faith. More specifically, God’s own faith that leads to awareness of union and utter dependency on Christ in me, as me. Perhaps the most stubborn weaknesses most effectively slay the delusional false self, converting my soul to the truth that Christ is my life and He’s using all things for His good.
The work of the cross, union life (the Gospel), alters the meaning of everything. Sin no longer separates me from God; it does not erect a wall or a barrier between us. When Christ tore down the separating curtain He forever changed my relationship to sin. In spiritual union with Him I find that addiction, bondage, weakness, sins of the flesh, or affliction of any kind takes on a whole new meaning. Now the cycle of addiction (whether overcome in this life time or not) is the opposition used to lead me into greater faith in Him. It leads to abandonment to union, to His life, His strength, and to an absolute trust in His sovereignty that undeniably gets me where I need to be when I need to be there. Some sins fall off quickly, others endure and cause the heartache which leads to greater faith.
Most agree, addictive behavior centers around self-focus. Disarm the addiction by refusing the self that clings to the addiction, the way the addiction makes it feel, or to the erroneous need to cure itself of said addiction. Refuse the self-focus and starve the addiction. The lust to self-improve fans the illusion of independence. A different posture can be taken. Stop thinking about it altogether. The thoughts that cause me to chase my tail have no power to mark a straight line. Instead of thinking about my situation I can watch and observe, and remain quiet by keeping all judgment far away from it. I give the fresh approach a chance to reveal its own value as I watch without judgment. I refuse to separate good and evil by trusting God to use evil for good.
I weave in and out of the conscious awareness of my union with Christ. I think we all do. Addiction is strengthened when I forget that there is no separate “me” that needs to fix, change, alter, or overcome my condition. This same “forgetfulness” also thinks there’s a “me” that can control “when” and “how” each addiction will fall away. Independent thinking plays the “personal responsibility” card to incite self-effort as the means to the cure. I try to keep paradox in mind – for if one side of this paradox is too heavily weighted it tilts toward separated thinking – until Christ tips the scale once again so that His impulse in me, as me, is discerned.
His impetus in me prompts the release of a lie which signals me to let it go. I do, because that’s who I am. There’s never a question as to whether or not I want to let go of sin. I am Christ in His “Susan Mucklow” form and I crave holiness and conformity to Him in every way. His movement is also what triggers new patterns in me that lead to freedom from slavery – bearing in mind that I do not control Him, He controls me. From an outsider’s perspective, my “trusting and waiting” on Him may look like disobedience; whereas my response to His movement may look like obedience. The truth is, He sees the whole package and is pleased.
Feeling trapped in an addiction has much to do with my belief about God. When I project too much sovereignty into my hands and rely to heavily on “my part” of this union then my determination to “rid myself” of the blot will either form or strengthen an addiction. And certainly, if I believe in any way that God is holding out on me then I will rush to “self-supply” which opens the gateway to excess, compulsion and addiction.
I believe that freedom from bondage (like repentance or anything else) is a gift from God. It is not something I manufacture on my own. Paradox is at play here, no doubt. “I” change my mind set (renew my mind, increase faith by hearing the word, etc) and I am the one who takes the new actions that lead to freedom…yet it is not “I” but “Christ” who lives in me. Life is lived by faith in Him – and that means that I wait for His awareness and action to unfold in me (at the risk of scrutiny by anyone who misunderstands my pause). If a victorious outcome is easy, hard, or not at all… it was He Who opened my eyes, caused the light to dawn, and enabled me to take the physical response that created true freedom.
Keeping the “paradoxical nature of truth” in mind keeps me on the same page… even if it seems like there are different translations at times! There is only one Holy Spirit, and He is saying the same thing from different angles. Remembering “paradox” keeps me humble and open, and protects me from the dogma that so easily divides. Thanks for receiving Christ as me… for keeping shame, judgment, or comparison far away from this subject… and for embracing contrast as the glorious teacher that it is!