Undivided Trust
Forgiveness makes me feel better, regardless of the response. Forgiveness, like love and respect, is unconditional. I forgive because it is who I am; it has nothing to do with merit. Even trust is without contingence (although I was taught that trust is earned). I trust simply because I feel better when I do – determining that trust, like love, is a part of who I am. If my trust is abused, I trust on… remaining in agreement with my true being. The way I see it, everybody wins – I’m true to myself, and the trust I extend is more likely to draw out the best in others. It’s a matter of faith – I trust God with my heart therefore I’m not afraid to give it away.
To clarify, I unconditionally trust CHRIST. I trust Him in me and in you; my position is anchored to my view of union. Trust is easy when I view all things in Christ. If your words or actions cause me pain then heightened trust will find the good. I can trust Christ even if He is not overtly obvious. I believe in the divine spark or the measure of faith that’s been given to all men. I trust Christ as the all in all and trust Him to ignite the spark in others. I trust with Christ’s own trust and extract His presence from unusual places. This trust is linked to God. I trust God alone…therefore I trust everything else.
Undivided trust finds the good. Painful occurrences become vital catalysts for taking needed steps. I’m hindered only when I judge an action (judgment severs trust) and lose sight of Love’s bigger message. God intends to save me from the illusion of separation – even if it hurts. When Love speaks through hurtful situations He may be asking me to repent, or to get over myself; He may be asking me to love hilariously or to set a much needed boundary; or He may even be asking me to courageously walk away from an abusive relationship. In any event, I can trust without condition that what is occurring is exactly what is needed to purify this vessel.
Discernment is not nullified; however a suspicious mind is often dubbed “discernment” while fear and faithlessness go undetected. Trusting Christ remains the key. Even my world view changes with this kind of trust. I fear less knowing that nothing gets to me that doesn’t first pass through God. Everything works for the good. God gets bigger in my eyes and His generous outlook becomes my own. Worldly attempts at security or self-protection are put to rest as I nestle into the truth that God is in control. Life is simpler, I am happier, and freedom of movement is accompanied by peace and joy.
I’m enjoying the exploration and the journey. By the way, thanks, Claudia, for the term “undivided trust.” Not only have I pondered it regarding trusting God “no matter what” but it fits with what the Lord is speaking in me regarding relationships with others…
Remember the New Creation!
When I revisit the illusion that I can alter my own condition impatience anxiously awaits. The pressure coaxes me to bow to the image of a separate self and to demand improvement from myself. If I bow, disappointment steers my perception. Doubt and discouragement flourish – and for good reason – for when expectations are grounded in the belief that I can ‘will a change’ apart from God then I am destined for yet another object lesson in the impotence of mankind. Self-doubt thrives in separated thinking. Negative perceptions such as, “I’m not good ground, I’m rebellious, or I’m lazy” are images forged by lies. True discipline is refusing to gaze upon such graven images. The victory cry becomes, “Remember the new creation!” Born in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ, the new creation rises from the rubble of fallen man to become my reality. It’s not a matter of if she will prevail, but rather when will her prevalence be my only impetus? I look to Christ’s image carved upon my heart, beyond the scrutiny of the world and its religion. I am looking past the temporal to that which is eternal. It is an exercise in focused attention – the true work of believing.
Easy Steps
Every urge to fix myself is a temptation designed to thwart faith and strengthen the illusion of independence. I am provoked to prove an identity that does not exist. Temptation tries to move me into a position of separated thinking. Dismissing the urge is a continual lesson in letting go.
The enticement to take matters into my own hands or to try to make something happen is subliminal. Beliefs below the threshold of conscious thought continually incite the effort to manufacture change. If I take the bait, faith is undermined by inevitable failure. Failure is inevitable because the flesh cannot replicate the freedom of the spirit. I’m weary of trying; the need to prove any thing is disappearing.
Goaded steps or even those that resemble a parent coaxing a child feel unnatural. I want steps that are confident and relaxed. I want natural steps, or none at all. Life’s too short to keep calculating steps in a vain effort to prove potency. I will take the steps that arrive with clarity – with no mental effort, strain or manipulation.
When I hear a word I won’t presume it to be an invitation to perform. I will not translate words into laws or allow the mind to assign meaning to that which only my heart has heard. Words spoken in my heart are spirit and life; they supply their own freedom of movement and their action isn’t noticed until I am already in motion.
Argument and logic need not agree with my action. Although the mind loves to analyze situations (so it can take credit for outcomes) it has no role in decisions of the heart. An unsubdued mind resists the submissive role it plays in a life of true union. It takes time, but my soul is bowing her knee to the “knowing” deep within.